IM JUST ME

 My Thoughts 

Can you trust someone too much 

Can you love someone too much 

I was living in an imaginary land where I thought your eyes were only for me 

Where I thought nothing and nobody could infiltrate your heart take up space that belongs to me 

But unknowingly to me that was a huge mirage 

It seems as if I wasn’t good enough 

I wasn’t doing what he needed 

I wasn’t being what he wanted so he found someone who was

A third component to our  duo

Broken and demolished 

Devastated and betrayed 

I sit in the same space as they share and die continuously every second every minute every hour every fuckin day 

The pain just keeps getting worse instead of being easier 

Instead of healing I fall deeper and deeper into despair into depression into the why me questions what did I do questions why is she better than me questions  into they why the fuck am I here anymore questions 

I still love him I still want him I hate to say it but I still need him and that pisses me the fuck off

He doesn’t deserve these feelings at all

Why can’t I just run away 

Why

I just want to disappear from everyone from everywhere 

I want to go where nobody knows how fuckin stupid I was I am where nobody knows my name where nobody knows anything 

ANYTHING